Do not underestimate the power of memory as a foundation for good health. Memory is the beginning of health. Memory is crucial...If one is to learn...If one is to change...If one is to evolve...One must remember. Take a test in school, one recalls facts and figures and places them within a personal perspective for an essay, or simply remembers dates and names which are answers to a multiple choice. Learning depends on memory. The foggier your memory, the greater the struggle while taking a test or exam. Same in life, with poor memory one is ill-equipped to deal with experiences and challenges thrown their way. History repeats itself if one does not utilize memory to effect positive change and awareness.
One of the reasons why memory is such a potent healer is because it contains stored ENERGY. Remember that, stored ENERGY. Energy makes the world spin round, your car go vroom and your body walk, run and reach. In the universe energy is the name of the game. Without energy there is no awareness. Energy and awareness go hand in hand, as more energy equates with a greater potential for more awareness. So if energy is the name of the game one should seek to ferret out all the ways in which we give our energy away or situations where it is stolen or drained from us. The best way to recapture stolen energy is through memory work combined with breathing exercises.
I’ll give a few examples of how living in our society is an energy draining existence. As I walk the streets of Manhattan on a typical day I’ll be energeticlly assaulted by preachers shouting out the word of god in ominous and threatening tones, I’ll invariably have several people begging or loudly demanding money because they are homeless, or I’ll hear at least two homophobic or mysogynistic comments made by teenagers. Not to mention anything I may hear or read from the media. Every one of these experiences becomes a memory and as I review my day I learn exactly where, when and under what circumstances energy was drained or stolen from me. I then breathe in or reclaim my energy from the offending parties and return or breathe out their energy, anger or self-limiting ideas. Imagine again, every day of your life and you will begin to see how much of your energy is wasted away on other people’s dramas. Know, that you can reclaim that energy and use it to grow, learn and increase your awareness. The more successful you are at memory work the larger your brain and hippocampus become and the more sorted out and healthy your existence is.
Returning to the mythological focus on memory, I found that earlier cultures worshipped memory in the form of the goddess Mnemosyne. Mnemosyne represented a person’s ability to store, retain and recall vital information. Mnemosyne was the goddess of language, and the Nine Muses, who were the arts and sciences, were her daughters. Before there were written records or computer files, people had to exercise their own brains and memory was crucial to survival and quality of life. Stories, tales and parables, which had to be recounted in accurate non-distorted detail, were passed along among tribe members and following generations so that people would know what worked and what didn’t. Through remembered tales people would know what was acceptable and what wasn’t or what plants were medicinal and which were poison. Shared memory in those times bound individual people into communities from which the individual gathered strength, knowledge and a greater sense of family and belonging.
There were two rivers that Mnemosyne governed, one which was the river of remembering and the other which was the river of forgetting. When souls departed this world they had a choice of the river from which they were to drink. If the choice was the river of forgetting, then that person would recount nothing of their past lives, usually the explanation was that their sorrow was too great, and so were doomed to repeat their experiences all over again in the next lifetime. As someone who has performed past life regressions, I can say that many of our injuries and illnesses are indeed past life related. When we carry over injuries from life to life it is supposed to be an opportunity to work out a problem, learn, grow and evolve. Alas, people invariably choose to drink from the river of forgetting and thus are doomed to find new ways in which to incur the same illness or replay a past episode ad infinitum.
Consider modern medicine, HIV/AIDS, or any other immune disease in the context of Mnemosyne. If what is being said about HIV causing AIDS, or the entire AIDS business money making machine and dinner party circuit, is disseminating patently false information and conclusions then we need to go back through our own memories and find out what is really at the root of the problem. Trust me, you and me and the average gay man with a modicum of memory work, is more than equipped to figure out what’s going on. If we keep remembering false, misdirecting information, then we are drinking from the river of forgetting, and are thus doomed to repeat this whole experience over again in some other form in some other place and time.
ENVIRONMENT
One’s environment cannot be overlooked as a primary cause for autoimmune diseases. Environment is not only external, but internal as well, including one’s level of mental, emotional and physical well-being. Whether one is in Africa or in New York there are commonalities of internal/external environment which lead to a susceptiblity towards the illness we call HIV/AIDS. Again, I’m just using the term HIV/AIDS so everyone knows what disease I’m speaking of, I don’t believe that it is HIV which causes AIDS. It may not even be necessary to get the exact biological cause nailed down, because as I write this blog, I see many factors which contribute to the immune system breakdown of someone with HIV or AIDS. Ultimately it is one’s environment which will be the catalyst for the body to produce a specific protein or promote the growth of a bacteria or virus which leads to illness.
Internal/external environmental state equates to the state of one’s health or imbalance. Not everyone who has HIV is effected in the same way. HIV as the cause of AIDS, or autoimmune dysfunction, seems to be to be an attempt to convince us that the various powers that be are doing their research and can wrap up the cause in one neat package. Of course telling us exactly what causes our immune dysfunction is a coup for pharmaceuticals as they are situated to better sell their exhorbitantly priced medications.
Some people with HIV are healthier than others, while other people experience different more destructive elements of the disease. Although I haven’t conducted a scientific random poll of people who have HIV, I have noticed that those around me who have lived longer, in a healthier state of existence, are those who’s environments are filled with supportive partners, loving families and a more stable financial background. These people who are healthier and live with HIV have reasons to live and an internal/external environment conducive to life. I, myself, am much healthier and happier today than back when I was taking medication and was first diagnosed. I have a supportive partner, loving friends and a mission or greater purpose for living. The multitude of people who I have seen die with this disease are usually poor or financially strapped, more isolated, even isolated within a partnership, and are hopelessly and morbidly depressed. These people have very little reason or will to live.
Environment has a considerable amount to do with the quality or health of memories one has. Memories are our own stories and form a continuous record of the quality and state of our existence. Inside our brain, memories are BLUEPRINTS or instructions packed with ENERGY, and for better or for worse shape the biochemistry of the brain and body towards certain outcomes. Below I’ll speak a bit more personally of my own particular internal/external environments which lead to my diagnosis.
In my life I’ve used denial as a form of unhealthy living and forgetting. Denial is an internal environment, or an internal state of being, which reflects one’s life choices so that the external environment one finds one’s self in matches or reflects the inner landscape. For much of my life, I chose to live in denial of who I was and the choices I was making, and almost all of my less desirable behaviors and lifestyle choices I swept under the rug of forgetfulness. If I didn’t see my behaviors, remember them or acknowledge them then I didn’t have to be responsible, could remain a victim and for me the Joe who dehumanized himself didn’t even exist. As I regressed through, or in shamanic terms stalked my memories, I have learned a great deal about how I organized my life to become a suitable host for autoimmune dysfunction.
I’m originally from a small town in New Mexico and as I was growing into adulthood, as a closeted gay man, there was no education or awareness of AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases. Our town was Catholic, Christian and military oriented with social pressures that definitely let you know what was acceptable to be discussed and what was not.
As I moved away and eventually ended up in New York I carried with me my small town attitude of best not to discuss anything which may be troubling. I was in denial of a reality which existed all around me, and for a gay man going out, partying and having one night stands in New York in the late eighties and nineties, my lifestyle choices were not particularly healthy or wise. I learned that just because I was in denial about reality it didn’t mean that reality was in denial about me.
My reckless behavior as a gay man in New York, was a result of being in the closet, and hiding myself for so long, that when I finally had the opportunity to have fun as a gay man I took it and ran with it. In our small town back in New Mexico, because of the religious and military minded restrictions, young people just loved to do things that were forbidden. When I got to New York all I saw was forbidden opportunities which could be surreptitiously engaged in. New York, unlike the small town I grew up in, was so large that anonymity was guaranteed. I didn’t have to worry about the prying eyes of neighbors, or people driving by my house, or seeing me at this or that place and then gossiping about it all over town. I was free to do whatever I wanted, and by golly, I did.
If someone aims to be healthy then one’s memories should be included within their health regimen. What I found when I first starting incorporating memory research and breathing into my daily routine was that the most dehumanizing and egregious examples of behavior would pop into my mind. I suppose my ego was trying to shame me into glossing over the most embarrassing aspects of my existence so I would just throw in the towel. I was not so easily deterred however, and knew that in my memories there were enormous reservoirs of energy waiting to be reclaimed and self-limiting programs which needed to be understood and released.
My memories of when I first lived in New York were ones of visiting late night bars and sex club environments where I would drink, get wasted and watch others have sex or participate in the shenanigans myself. The two primary places I loved to patronize were both in basements and underground. How fitting. Both these dark underground dens were filthy and, I’m certain, teeming with bacteria and heaven knows what other copulating germs and parasites, not to mention the psychological and emotional pollution which was present. Later, as I reviewed my memories of these places, I realized I was still ashamed of being gay, and being gay was being dirty, or being gay meant being someone who should be swept under the rug. And that’s where I ended up, in places that looked like they were swept under a rug.
In speaking about the state, or health of memory itself, one can see from the above that by my actions, and the environments I placed myself in, my mind was filled with a vast stockpile of memories who's content was extremely damaging to my physical, emotional and mental health. I had effectively programmed my brain to emit reward and punishment neurotransmitters which kept me locked in my dehumanizing existence. Remember what I said about memory earlier which was, one...we learn or behave based on memory, and two...memory is a blueprint, set of instructions and is filled with energy. Also, as I said before, energy makes the world go round, and in this case energy trapped in self-destructive behavioral programs was powering my disintegration. By not addressing memory one cannot hope to sustain a program of health.
I address memory every day. I create new healthy memories through positive efforts and I scour old memories to gain a greater awareness of my mental, emotional and physical being. As I understand myself more and more, additional energy is released and additional awareness and knowlege are gained. Slowly, I’m balancing the health of my memory and when I discuss the hippocampus one will be able to realize how important memory tasks are.
Returning once more to Mnemosyne, she is useful in helping us to gain a greater understanding of who we are and the dormant potential of our higher emotional and intellectual selves. The daughters of Mnemosyne/memory were the Nine Muses who inspired artists, philosophers, poets and musicians with their grace. Words such as music and museum come from their name. Poetry and music in particular were central to the activation of inspiration and higher emotion.
Great works of art don't simply appear out of thin air or emerge brilliantly conceived from an uninspired mind. The mind, the emotions and one's soul have to be prepared before a work is begun or an inspired life lived. Comedy, poetry and music, using memory aids or mnemonic devices, raised the vibration or frequency of the mind, body and soul to the proper heights where inspiration resided. It's interesting that today Arts and Sciences has become a tool for dehumanizing and degrading our existences. Look at how language and grammar is mangled. Much of popular hip hop music also uses many of the same mnemonic devices of rhyme, alliteration and punning as classical and ancient poetry but to the opposite vibrational effect of harmony and inspiration. The effect of the images, themes and beat of popular music doesn't expand the effectiveness or efficiency of the corpus callosum which is responsible for the communication between the feminine and masculine hemispheres of the brain. Todays entertainment is higher mindless, traps us in the left, linear masculine brain and lowers our emotional life to hypothalamic drives of drinking, eating, sex and aggression.
Creativity is a very misunderstood word. What we see around us today is not creativity but mostly people copying other people’s work and tweaking it slightly. True creativity is the domain of the divine feminine as you need feminine energy and access to higher emotions to give birth to truly original works of art. By researching the art of the Renaissance or ancient Greece, one will learn that art wasn’t simply pretty pictures or flowery verses but had purpose and meaning which helped people to grow, evolve and understand their world on a deeper, more profound and scientific level. Da Vinci as well as many of the other great artists of his era were scientists and philosophers not just painters and sculpters. If one were to look up ancient Greek philosophers and prominent citizens one would see a very long list of recognizable luminaries such as Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Epicurus, Hippocrates and list stretches past the horizon. Access to higher emotions and intellect stimulates the curious child and dedicated scientist in all of us and enables everyone, man and woman alike, to give birth to higher, truer and more beautiful explanations of our selves and our universe. Unlike most modern art of dribbling and smearing, there is no doubt about the creative works of the Renaissance and Ancient Greece, as they will always be viewed as masterpieces no matter what the generation or age. True art will resonate into eternity.
How does the gay community fit into creativity and art? Well, in my time it was the responsibility of the older generation of gay men to teach the younger one’s all areas of culture. They were our Muses. More than anything else what the gay community or gay people represented was a connection to a higher sensitivity of emotion from which art was generated. We excelled in the arts and in creativity. So what happened? Well, I think that we became far too obsessed with the gym and looking good simply as an exercise in vanity and not as an extension of good health. Also the community has expended oceans of energy fighting AIDS, chasing its tail in the political arena, being obsessed with youth and looking young, and transforming ourselves from the last vestiges of a creative, vibrant, unique culture to a boring, white picket fence, 2.4 kids and an SUV in the driveway household of average middle Americans. What happens when our version of reality goes bust or belly up? If we have completely severed our connection to the divine feminine and our higher emotions and intellect then we will have nothing to fall back on when creative solutions are most desperately needed.
