The Hippocampus is not a University for Hippopotamuses

Our entire lives consist of learning.  Early on in life we learn to crawl, stroll and jog, then we may learn certain historical facts and mathematical equations for school, and as we grow we learn various aspects of our social and cultural existence such as knowing which fork to use with the salad course or that underwear probably doesn’t make a very good hat.  Learning, though, doesn’t necessarly equate to becoming more aware and conscious.  We can all learn destructive or dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving which lead us far away from evolving as a person and as a species.  The organ of the brain most responsible for learning is the hippocampus.  The hippocampus is connected to learning via its function of storing memory.  In order to learn one has to remember.  In order to be awake and conscious one has to remember.  In order to acquire higher cognitive and emotional functions one has to remember.  

The hippocampus is located in the medial temporal lobe of the brain and is a part of the limbic system and circuitry of emotion.  The word hippocampus is Greek for “Seamonster” or “Seahorse.”  I imagine myself standing on the shores of Loch Ness and shouting to passersby, “Hey, did you see that huge slithery Hippocampus over there?”  The Scottish people on the shore would turn to me and say, “Pipe down you crazy American nutjob!”  

In a prior chapter on free will and choices I wrote that the hypothalamus was responsible for the ego and false personality formation.  Upon further reflection of the symbols of the hippocampus, and its functions, it seems I may have miswrote slightly.  The culture we frolick in plays a crucial role in limiting us to a hypthalamic expression of ego identities based on primary human drives of sex, rage, indifference, consumption and eating and drinking.  It is the hippocampus, not the hypothalamus, however, which formats the context of our experiences and memories in accordance with societal norms and programs.  The hypothalamus is simply doing its job, problem is the hypothalamus shouldn’t be in absolute control of our spiritual life, that is if we want to have one.  We are supposed to be awake at the helm of our hippocampus, so when we encounter distorted and dehumanizing cultural influences, we can balance their deleterious effects with study, research and awareness not just anger.

In mythology and art the hippocampus is associated with two well known symbols: Pegasus, the winged steed of Perseus who slew the hideous Medusa, and the Hippocampi who were fearsome sea monsters with the body of a sea horse, two front legs and the hind quarters of a dolphin.  These two diverse symbols relate to how the hippocampus functions in each of us.  Are we able to apply awareness to our memories and thus ride Pegasus to slay Medusa, who is the false personality of ego identities, or is our hippocampus a hypothalamic sea monster which will rise up from the depths of our own Loch Ness and end up devouring us with its addictive power hungy ways?  The choice is ours.

I like to think of the hippocampi as my very own university of higher learning.  I call it U of J or University of Joe.  My mascot is a butterfly, a tough butterfly though, with lots of muscles, tattoos and a three day growth of stubble.  When I go back through my memories of all my childhood programs its like packing my bags and heading off to U of J.  Through perusing my various past shenanigans I hope to learn more about myself, why and who I am, what are my repeating patterns of distorted behavior, and what work is absolutely necessary to be undertaken.  Learning doesn’t come easy and, as in college, there is no cheating.  Cheating when it applies to memory work means mentally defending yourself, or your ego, when one clearly needs to honestly and critically assess one’s role and responsibility in engaging in self-limiting or self-destructive behavior.  The ego thinks that memory work is all about judgment and punishment, when delving into memory should really be about awareness and responsibility for one’s health and well being.

Let’s further contemplate the concept of the hippocampus as a university on a societal level.  If we go to a university to improve our mental and intellectual capacity, then it is our goal to strive to learn and improve so we will eventually be qualified to go out and be a productive member of our community.   If our university, or hippocampus, is focused on hypothalamic concerns then the things we are most qualified to participate in are excessive partying, the military, being a pole dancer, being on the Jerry Springer show, becoming a Hollywood producer or starring in a reality television program.  Now, imagine everyone else in the country having similarly slanted hippocampi and what sort of society are we going to end up with? 

We have two hippocampus or hippocampi on each side of our brain.  These two hippos may look the same, but boy are they functionally and energetically different.  If we look at the body we can see the principle of mirrored images built into our anatomy.  We have two hemispheres, or halves of our body, such as the the pinky toe on the right foot is similar to the pinky toe on the left foot and our right knee is similar to the left one.  Nifty.  

Looking the same is not necessarily being the same.  In considering our energetic hippocampic selves we need to become familiar with both masculine and feminine qualities.  The differences in anatomical structures, which may appear similar, is rooted in the feminine energy of creativity, openness, rejuvenation, spontaneity and expansiveness and masculine energy of logic, systems analysis, hierarchy, structure and self involvement or contractiveness.  The two energies of feminine and masculine are at work throughout our body and being and also in our hippocampi.  Learning and memory when it involves simply masculine left brained pursuits is when our nature spirals down into a purely hypothalamic existence of anger, sex and aggression.  Learning and memory when it is overly feminine means descending into a hypothalamic existence of endless victimization and depression.  Balance means nurturing the nature of the whole and sifting through our memories to determine where and how one or the other of our masculine or feminine natures was reprogrammed or damaged.

The primary function of the hippocampus is to structure and store memory.  There are different types of memory such as spatial, procedural, cognitive, long term, short term, associative and facts and figures based memory.  During REM Sleep we’re not just fluttering our eyelids, and dreaming happy dreams, but are busy consolidating memories in our hippocampus.  As the night lengthens and our snooze deepens, the hippocampus is hard at work fusing our life choices and experiences into a spatial, temporal, memory map which results in our perspective or picture of our inner and outer realities.  It is this picture of reality which we then apply to our day to day existence so that we know how to weave our car in and out of rush hour traffic, when to take our medications and what those medications are for, and how to respond or react in every social, intellectual and emotional situation we may encounter.  

All this remembering should help one to develop a significant knowledge base which should guide them through most of life’s hairpin twists and turns.  Knowledge of one’s self and one’s surroundings should become a foundation for assembling a cogent, clear and accurate representation of reality.  However, as we are conditioned our entire lives to accept and embody a version of reality which is distorted, manipulated and which substitutes lies for facts, we place our selves and our health at peril.  

We are, as a species entirely stage managed, from birth until death, so that we can never completely assemble an accurate picture of reality.  Yes, we may solve a problem or two, or find three pieces of the puzzle, but as our education is entirely specialized and not conducive to critical thinking, and our food, air, water and information are poisoned, and we are also lorded over by psychopathic corporate entities which know no national boundaries, exhibit no true patriotism and are cruel and inhumane to the extreme, we are left with little else to do but pray and try to keep up.  Think about the flow of money.   On a personal, class, national and world level who is money flowing from, and who or what is money flowing to?  

Disease enters into our bodies and our hippocampus every single day in the form of lies.  Every time we believe a lie, and incorporate it into memory, over making the effort to sincerely discover what is truly happening we jeopardize our health and well being.  Let’s take television for example, how does television effect one’s hippocampus?  Your hippocampus is supposed to store YOUR memories of YOUR experiences so that YOU can gain an accurate perception of reality.  

Watching television, and yes even the purported history and public t.v. channels, is one big distortion.  One gains an entertainment history, entertainment religion, entertainment romance, entertainment political view and all of this programming once again incorporated into YOUR memory without a modicum of awareness or discernment.  It’s not even YOUR life, but it sure as heck feels intimate enough to be your life, as television is smack dab in our livingrooms and bedrooms. 

Since we have never been taught actual critical skills we fall back on our ego/hypothalamic identities to decide for us whether or not we “like” something, are “afraid” of something or agree with some issue as that issue “feels” good to us.  This liking and feeling is not expert intuition or true critical skills even though it may seem like it.  Real intuition is a tightening of the gut so intense that you definitively know the truth, and all of a sudden a comprehensive thought dawns on you about the nature, magnitude and scope of the lie.  It's a real AHA moment.  Intuition doesn’t stem from likes and dislikes, but from a rather deeper pool of connections of having researched and studied widely, diversely and with discernment and knowing how one’s childhood programming propensities enter into our thoughts so as to distort our view of the truth and reality.   

PAST LIVES LIVED, LESSONS LEARNED? 

 

Autoimmune disease begins with not protecting one’s self with knowledge and critical thinking and then following through with the appropriate behavior.  From our lack of awareness we stumble into various situations which confirm our world and inner views.  Now, throw some karma, or what I like to call nature’s equilibrium, into the mix and we are really in a pickle.  I’ll give you some general examples from my own past lives and how they apply to this one I’m living now.  The hippocampus, by the way, does contain the memories of every life you have ever lived and everything you have ever done only most of us don’t possess the skill and energy necessary to access it all.  If we work diligently through this life and its programs, then past life issues will emerge in a natural fashion when we are psychologically and bio-chemically able to handle them.  Past life memories should not try to be induced artificially with halleucinaginic assistance.  Ever.

In a few of my past lives I was in the military, not an uncommon profession in the past just look at how many people today are employed by the military.  In this particular past life I was a gay man in charge of various troops during the Crusades and belonged to an order which placed very severe restrictions on troop morality and sexual hijinks.  Of course it being the military, and filled with hunky masculine men, there were bound to be curious overtures of the I'll show you mine if you show me yours sort.  If I was to stay in charge of my troops, it was the crusades after all, I certainly coudn’t be in any way, shape or form seen as feminine or vulnerable.  I had to behave as a masculine, aggressive, decisive leader and certainly not someone who would lust after men.  I also could not allow my troops to be morally decrepit either and harsh punishments for those who flouted moral standards were commonplace.      

In another life I actually guarded the Pope and was part of his personal body guard.  Yep, a gay man guarding the pope how screwed up is that?  Like any closeted gay man in the military, I compensated for my lack of coming to truthful terms about my true nature, by being extremely good at my job which was raiding, pillaging, conquering, and lecturing.   I certainly got my comeupance in that life as eventually I was betrayed, tortured and burned at the stake by my “friends.”  Kind of funny that life, makes me chuckle now that the flames aren’t slowly roasting me alive.  A gay man protecting the Pope, that's funny if it weren't so twisted. 

In this life I grew up in and around the military having as a child and adolescent lived in New Mexico.  I never joined, even though my father and family wanted me sign up, so at least that’s a first step in the right direction.  The pressures of military mindedness certainly did play a part in my inability to stand up for who I was and be accepted as a healthy normal individual in my earlier years.  Again, though, with the help of other valiant individuals who were coming out of the closet in the eighties and nineties I made the choice to be truthful.  Another step in the right direction and a further healing of my past life debacles.  

It was not going to be so easy though to escape from the mental, psychological and emotional fall out of this or other lives.  Remember, the hippocampus remembers, and even if one is not consciously aware of why they act the way they do, one can bet there is a hidden memory inside driving one over the cliff and towards ill health.  In my case, there is an autoimmune accountability in this life, which is the accumulation of past lives lived where I buried my sensitive proclivities in violence or religious fervor.  In several of these past lives, I would psychologically and systematically try to kill off the gay part of me, because of religious pressure, and ridiculously think the rest of me would remain intact.  Contradictions such as these pop up in past lives all the time and what I've noticed is people swinging back and forth on a karmic pendulum and never truly learning how to move on and up.

The shame and disgust of those previous lives were not my own, but had been artificially installed into my hippocampus and reality under the guise of social and religious custom and practices.  I had adopted and vigorously promoted the religious and moral attitudes of the day never fully questioning the veracity or health of those beliefs and if they served me or society.  I realize that coming out into the open in those days would most likely have lead to torture and death, but as an individual and human being the least I could do for my emotional and spiritual well being would be to internalize my own truth quietly.  I speculate that many of the "followers" of the pious religious types of today lived lives like me, hiding their true human and spiritual nature so that they can feel like they belong to a group which supposedly serves god.  

Once a particular religious organization snares someone, that person with any amount of sight will soon discover that truth is not foremost on most group member's minds but rather acquiring more power, prestige and property are the driving forces.  At this point, what I did in some of my past lives and what these religious followers do now, is sublimate our true natures to that of the group and cease thinking for one's self.  The ego then kicks in and makes one feel special, unique and chosen among God's people which is indeed reinforced by the power structure.  Group think also forms and becomes a big tumbling boulder careening down a hill, one had better get out of the way by disguising any aspect of themselves which disagrees with the official party line, or they’re gonna get plowed over.   

THE THEATER OF THE ABSURD AND THE HIPPOCAMPUS

 

The ancient Greeks used to have enormous theaters next to their oracles and places of prophecy.  The Greeks were the founders of modern theater and comedy and knew that life was simply a play.  The actors, or we human beings, would enter on the stage and proceed to live our lives or participate in plays of tragedy, comedy, philosophy and music.  Plays back then were designed to heighten one's emotions, be inspirational and educational entertainment, pose intellectual and philosophical quandaries, with the words and experience of the performance resonating off the stones the audience was sitting on and penetrating their very being. 

The stone structures used to construct their amphitheaters had tiny quartz crystals in the rock.  Today, in radios and watches, quartz crystals are used to complete an electrical connection and to isolate certain frequencies.  Imagine sitting on an enormous electrical transmitter surrounded by other people experiencing and adding their own human electrical and emotional energy and speculate as to how connected everyone must have been.  See, the Greeks knew about and honored the human energetic body as well as toning the physical body.  Plays in Ancient Greece were like therapy is today, in that they helped resolve community and psychological issues in a positive, affirming and uplifting electrical manner. Intellectual and emotional transformations of the audience happened in these amphitheaters which raised the vibrations, brain frequencies and health of everyone involved.  

Another thought about crystals, emotion and the raising of one's energetic vibration, is in my dreams, I see these velvet cloth cases laid out with multitudes of crystals inserted in them.  I suspect, though don't absolutely know, that this dream was trying to tell me that DNA has a crystalline base.  If these ancient amphitheaters conducted emotional and electrical energy then it could create a piezoelectric effect on the DNA and bone structure of those in the audience.  Piezoelectricity is when an electrical potential is created due to applied mechanical stress, with stress meaning both pressure and anxiety.  Pressure or stress can come in the form of electromagnetic vibrations, which if applied to those watching a play in an ancient theater, would mean that these people were literally having their DNA crystallized toward one purpose or the other depending on the play.  Betcha that these electromagnetic vibrational plays and amphitheaters helped magnetize one's blood, as blood contains iron rich hemoglobin, hardened bone in the body, supplemented and enhanced one's energy body and supported healthy protein production via proper DNA transcription. 

Somewhere along the perilous march of history we forgot what the Greeks knew which was life is a play or we should be play acting at our lessons in order to grow and evolve.  We've forgotten that this classroom illusion we're in is designed to foster growth not stagnation.  Our current trend, which is picking up the pace, of a dehumanized, decultured and degraded state of society is being crystallized into our very DNA and bones much like health, philosophy and wisdom were crystallized into ancient Greek culture via piezoelectricity and entertainment.  I often have dreams of being in a grand theater or a giant stadium and watching as all these people perform and I know that nowadays everything is directed and produced by those we can't even see and don't even know.  We all seem to be trapped in a time loop play which endlessly shifts actors or human beings in and out of roles while real suffering and ignorance continues unabated life after life and generation after generation.  

I think that the origins of what we consider today to be popular entertainment have their roots in ancient Rome and the Coliseum.  Coliseums, gladiators and gladiatorial contests, when real war wasn't available, steadily displaced amphitheaters, theaters and plays as the preferred mode of entertainment and experience by the masses.  The vibrations in the coliseums were decidedly orchestrated to emotionally highlight danger, death, violence and aggression as those frequencies were more befitting of an empire bent on world domination.  Even today we think, behave and are distracted along the same lines as the Roman Empire and its bread and circuses attitude. Boxing, wrestling, ultimate fighting matches and other full contact sports and sports team competitions are the most popular entertainment choice of the masses. Higher cultural music and arts programs receive decidedly less support and funding than sports do in high schools and colleges around the country.

The soul of the gay community used to be firmly rooted in arts, music and theater soil.  Now, the focus in the gay community, and straight as well but gays were first to pick up on physical improvement movement, has shifted towards building, grooming and decorating one's physical body.  Looks over substance.  I also chained myself to weight machines and treadmills for a few years but eventually that looking good, combined with childhood programs lead to more and riskier sexual activity on my part.  I think for me, I felt less likely to be assaulted and more respected as a man when I had a bigger chest and biceps.  I was working from the outside in and that attitude eventually failed me health and physique-wise until I reversed the equation with hippocampus memory work.  With consistent memory work and higher cultural involvement my emotional, intellectual and spiritual state has improved considerably.  I have developed a better ability to assess information, and study and write for longer periods of time, am less likely to dissociate, and new realms of creativity are expressing themselves through my life and shamanic work.

Pentagrams and the Hippocampus: The Golden Mean of Health

The reason I have been placing pentagram artwork at the start of the last couple of posts is that pentagrams represent the human being in perfect healthy proportion.  In a true pentagram there is no end and no beginning as all points and lines connect and form a network.  The top point represents one’s spirit or awareness which is awake and creatively forming one's evolutionary progress.  The proportion of the lines results in the Golden Mean which is a measurement of the appropriate height, length and width of one aspect of your being to another.

There is nothing magical about pentagrams.  At least there’s not supposed to be.  Magic and pentagrams are hogwash, and people who utilize them in magical operations, are trying to cheat themselves out of doing all the hard work which is necessary for evolution.  Here, I utilize pentagrams as a tool, one of many which will be provided, for good hippocampic health.  The hippocampus responds well to geometry as its function is to structure memory, pentagrams are excellent for providing a proper framework for healthy memory storage, and it helps one move through their environment, so pentagrams are useful in a spatial navigation sense in that they establish the proper energetic proportions of one’s body as it moves through  physical and energetic terrains. 

Geometry, in general, is a specific skeleton or framework which captures or channels energy into a particular format so that physical systems can grow and thrive.  The geometry of a pentagram channels the energy of the evolutionary spiral seen in the growth of ivy tendrils, galaxies, seashells and hurricanes. From the evolutionary spiral, other geometries are produced and thus the potential for healthy growth is geometrically established. 

Pentagrams: Geometric Rose Garden artwork

I've always enjoyed pentagrams because they remind me of roses.  These images are of pentagram artwork I made a few years ago and I like to think of them as geometric rose gardens.  

The Penthouse

Hygeia, Goddess of Health

The Greek Goddess of health and cleanliness was called Hygieia or Hygeia.  Our English word, hygiene, came from this goddess.  The word hygieia didn't translate specifically to health but rather meant "wholeness" or "soundness."  The goddess Hygeia was represented by the rose and the pentagram.   As I'm not going to be handing out candy today, I think with this article one should ask themselves some questions.  I'll point you in the right direction and then you should look everything up for yourselves.  The better your research, the more you will understand the way your brain functions and how to become healthier.  Ask yourself, or research it, what do the points of a pentagram mean?  What is the fifth point and what does it stand for?  What does sound have to do with health?  What part of the brain is larger in musicians than in non-musicians?  What other mythological figure has similar symbols of the rose and the pentagram?  By the way, the goddess Hygeia is often painted or sculpted holding a jar, sound familiar?  

The concept of Hygeia or hygiene is related to disease.  Most diseases are the result of unhygienic practices.  With proper sanitation,  clean surroundings and clean air and food most illnesses can be prevented.  In hospitals, doctors have to sanitize their hands and operating rooms so their patients don't get infections.  For autoimmune diseases or HIV/AIDS, whether it is Africa or America, there is a common theme of an unhygienic environment or unclean circumstances which facilitate transmission.  Hygiene doesn't just refer to cleaning one's room, or not having sex in the shower at the gym, but also means cleanliness or purity of one's mental, emotional and psychological health.  It seems that cleanliness is next to godliness, or rather, is next to GODDESSLINESS.   

The Rose: the scent and geometry of higher awareness

The pentagram is a geometric representation of the rose.  Both the rose and the pentagram represent humanity as the number five is vital to the construction and concept of the human body.  We have five senses and five appendages of two legs, two arms and a head.  We have 32 teeth with 3+2=5.  We also have five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot.  A rose has five basic petals which spiral out and around creating an ascending staircase of petals in groups of five.  Having spoken briefly already about the use of scents we know that the smell of the rose is useful in activating neurotransmitters which grow the limbic system in our brains.  The limbic system is, once again, the area which governs our higher emotions, higher intellect and consciousness.  

The particular area responsible for higher emotions is called the Amygdala.  The word Amygdala reminds me of Magdala, another name for Magdalene, or Migdol which is the tower Mary Magdalene resided in by the sea.  So I'll leave you with a few symbols of the rose, the alabaster jar, the amygdala, and the resurrection and let you ponder what they mean and how this story plays out.  Ask yourself, what does Mary Magdalene represent?  If you know the function of the Amygdala you can answer that question.  Ask yourself question after question related to this story, look at some paintings of Mary Magdalene, and then try to learn what parts of one's higher brain organs may be relevant to this storyline and to your health and welfare.  

Mnemosyne: Memory is the Beginning of Health

Do not underestimate the power of memory as a foundation for good health.  Memory is the beginning of health.  Memory is crucial...If one is to learn...If one is to change...If one is to evolve...One must remember.  Take a test in school, one recalls facts and figures and places them within a personal perspective for an essay, or simply remembers dates and names which are answers to a multiple choice.  Learning depends on memory.  The foggier your memory, the greater the struggle while taking a test or exam.  Same in life, with poor memory one is ill-equipped to deal with experiences and challenges thrown their way.  History repeats itself if one does not utilize memory to effect positive change and awareness.

One of the reasons why memory is such a potent healer is because it contains stored ENERGY.  Remember that, stored ENERGY.  Energy makes the world spin round, your car go vroom and your body walk, run and reach.  In the universe energy is the name of the game.  Without energy there is no awareness.  Energy and awareness go hand in hand, as more energy equates with a greater potential for more awareness.  So if energy is the name of the game one should seek to ferret out all the ways in which we give our energy away or situations where it is stolen or drained from us.  The best way to recapture stolen energy is through memory work combined with breathing exercises.

I’ll give a few examples of how living in our society is an energy draining existence.  As I walk the streets of Manhattan on a typical day I’ll be energeticlly assaulted by preachers shouting out the word of god in ominous and threatening tones, I’ll invariably have several people begging or loudly demanding money because they are homeless, or I’ll hear at least two homophobic or mysogynistic comments made by teenagers.  Not to mention anything I may hear or read from the media.  Every one of these experiences becomes a memory and as I review my day I learn exactly where, when and under what circumstances energy was drained or stolen from me.  I then breathe in or reclaim my energy from the offending parties and return or breathe out their energy, anger or self-limiting ideas.  Imagine again, every day of your life and you will begin to see how much of your energy is wasted away on other people’s dramas.  Know, that you can reclaim that energy and use it to grow, learn and increase your awareness.  The more successful you are at memory work the larger your brain and hippocampus become and the more sorted out and healthy your existence is.   

Returning to the mythological focus on memory, I found that earlier cultures worshipped memory in the form of the goddess Mnemosyne.  Mnemosyne represented a person’s ability to store, retain and recall vital information.  Mnemosyne was the goddess of language, and the Nine Muses, who were the arts and sciences, were her daughters.  Before there were written records or computer files, people had to exercise their own brains and memory was crucial to survival and quality of life.  Stories, tales and parables, which had to be recounted in accurate non-distorted detail, were passed along among tribe members and following generations so that people would know what worked and what didn’t.  Through remembered tales people would know what was acceptable and what wasn’t or what plants were medicinal and which were poison.  Shared memory in those times bound individual people into communities from which the individual gathered strength, knowledge and a greater sense of family and belonging.   

There were two rivers that Mnemosyne governed, one which was the river of remembering and the other which was the river of forgetting.  When souls departed this world they had a choice of the river from which they were to drink.  If the choice was the river of forgetting, then that person would recount nothing of their past lives, usually the explanation was that their sorrow was too great, and so were doomed to repeat their experiences all over again in the next lifetime.  As someone who has performed past life regressions, I can say that many of our injuries and illnesses are indeed past life related.  When we carry over injuries from life to life it is supposed to be an opportunity to work out a problem, learn, grow and evolve.  Alas, people invariably choose to drink from the river of forgetting and thus are doomed to find new ways in which to incur the same illness or replay a past episode ad infinitum.  

Consider modern medicine, HIV/AIDS, or any other immune disease in the context of Mnemosyne.  If what is being said about HIV causing AIDS, or the entire AIDS business money making machine and dinner party circuit, is disseminating patently false information and conclusions then we need to go back through our own memories and find out what is really at the root of the problem.  Trust me, you and me and the average gay man with a modicum of memory work, is more than equipped to figure out what’s going on.  If we keep remembering false, misdirecting information, then we are drinking from the river of forgetting, and are thus doomed to repeat this whole experience over again in some other form in some other place and time. 

ENVIRONMENT

One’s environment cannot be overlooked as a primary cause for autoimmune diseases.  Environment is not only external, but internal as well, including one’s level of mental, emotional and physical well-being.  Whether one is in Africa or in New York there are commonalities of internal/external environment which lead to a susceptiblity towards the illness we call HIV/AIDS.  Again, I’m just using the term HIV/AIDS so everyone knows what disease I’m speaking of, I don’t believe that it is HIV which causes AIDS.  It may not even be necessary to get the exact biological cause nailed down, because as I write this blog, I see many factors which contribute to the immune system breakdown of someone with HIV or AIDS.  Ultimately it is one’s environment which will be the catalyst for the body to produce a specific protein or promote the growth of a bacteria or virus which leads to illness.

Internal/external environmental state equates to the state of one’s health or imbalance.  Not everyone who has HIV is effected in the same way.  HIV as the cause of AIDS, or autoimmune dysfunction, seems to be to be an attempt to convince us that the various powers that be are doing their research and can wrap up the cause in one neat package.  Of course telling us exactly what causes our immune dysfunction is a coup for pharmaceuticals as they are situated to better sell their exhorbitantly priced medications.  

Some people with HIV are healthier than others, while other people experience different more destructive elements of the disease. Although I haven’t conducted a scientific random poll of people who have HIV, I have noticed that those around me who have lived longer, in a healthier state of existence, are those who’s environments are filled with supportive partners, loving families and a more stable financial background.  These people who are healthier and live with HIV have reasons to live and an internal/external environment conducive to life.  I, myself, am much healthier and happier today than back when I was taking medication and was first diagnosed.  I have a supportive partner, loving friends and a mission or greater purpose for living.  The multitude of people who I have seen die with this disease are usually poor or financially strapped, more isolated, even isolated within a partnership, and are hopelessly and morbidly depressed.  These people have very little reason or will to live. 

Environment has a considerable amount to do with the quality or health of memories one has.  Memories are our own stories and form a continuous record of the quality and state of our existence.  Inside our brain, memories are BLUEPRINTS or instructions packed with ENERGY, and for better or for worse shape the biochemistry of the brain and body towards certain outcomes.  Below I’ll speak a bit more personally of my own particular internal/external environments which lead to my diagnosis.

In my life I’ve used denial as a form of unhealthy living and forgetting.  Denial is an internal environment, or an internal state of being, which reflects one’s life choices so that the external environment one finds one’s self in matches or reflects the inner landscape.  For much of my life, I chose to live in denial of who I was and the choices I was making, and almost all of my less desirable behaviors and lifestyle choices I swept under the rug of forgetfulness.  If I didn’t see my behaviors, remember them or acknowledge them then I didn’t have to be responsible, could remain a victim and for me the Joe who dehumanized himself didn’t even exist.  As I regressed through, or in shamanic terms stalked my memories, I have learned a great deal about how I organized my life to become a suitable host for autoimmune dysfunction.  

I’m originally from a small town in New Mexico and as I was growing into adulthood, as a closeted gay man, there was no education or awareness of AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases.  Our town was Catholic, Christian and military oriented with social pressures that definitely let you know what was acceptable to be discussed and what was not.  

As I moved away and eventually ended up in New York I carried with me my small town attitude of best not to discuss anything which may be troubling.  I was in denial of a reality which existed all around me, and for a gay man going out, partying and having one night stands in New York in the late eighties and nineties, my lifestyle choices were not particularly healthy or wise.  I learned that just because I was in denial about reality it didn’t mean that reality was in denial about me. 

My reckless behavior as a gay man in New York, was a result of being in the closet, and hiding myself for so long, that when I finally had the opportunity to have fun as a gay man I took it and ran with it.  In our small town back in New Mexico, because of the religious and military minded restrictions, young people just loved to do things that were forbidden.  When I got to New York all I saw was forbidden opportunities which could be surreptitiously engaged in.  New York, unlike the small town I grew up in, was so large that anonymity was guaranteed.  I didn’t have to worry about the prying eyes of neighbors, or people driving by my house, or seeing me at this or that place and then gossiping about it all over town.  I was free to do whatever I wanted, and by golly, I did.   

If someone aims to be healthy then one’s memories should be included within their health regimen.  What I found when I first starting incorporating memory research and breathing into my daily routine was that the most dehumanizing and egregious examples of behavior would pop into my mind.  I suppose my ego was trying to shame me into glossing over the most embarrassing aspects of my existence so I would just throw in the towel.  I was not so easily deterred however, and knew that in my memories there were enormous reservoirs of energy waiting to be reclaimed and self-limiting programs which needed to be understood and released.  

My memories of when I first lived in New York were ones of visiting late night bars and sex club environments where I would drink, get wasted and watch others have sex or participate in the shenanigans myself.  The two primary places I loved to patronize were both in basements and underground.  How fitting.  Both these dark underground dens were filthy and, I’m certain, teeming with bacteria and heaven knows what other copulating germs and parasites, not to mention the psychological and emotional pollution which was present.  Later, as I reviewed my memories of these places, I realized I was still ashamed of being gay, and being gay was being dirty, or being gay meant being someone who should be swept under the rug.  And that’s where I ended up, in places that looked like they were swept under a rug.  

In speaking about the state, or health of memory itself, one can see from the above that by my actions, and the environments I placed myself in, my mind was filled with a vast stockpile of memories who's content was extremely damaging to my physical, emotional and mental health.  I had effectively programmed my brain to emit reward and punishment neurotransmitters which kept me locked in my dehumanizing existence.  Remember what I said about memory earlier which was, one...we learn or behave based on memory, and two...memory is a blueprint, set of instructions and is filled with energy.  Also, as I said before, energy makes the world go round, and in this case energy trapped in self-destructive behavioral programs was powering my disintegration.  By not addressing memory one cannot hope to sustain a program of health.

I address memory every day.  I create new healthy memories through positive efforts and I scour old memories to gain a greater awareness of my mental, emotional and physical being.  As I understand myself more and more, additional energy is released and additional awareness and knowlege are gained.  Slowly, I’m balancing the health of my memory and when I discuss the hippocampus one will be able to realize how important memory tasks are.

Returning once more to Mnemosyne, she is useful in helping us to gain a greater understanding of who we are and the dormant potential of our higher emotional and intellectual selves.  The daughters of Mnemosyne/memory were the Nine Muses who inspired artists, philosophers, poets and musicians with their grace.  Words such as music and museum come from their name.  Poetry and music in particular were central to the activation of inspiration and higher emotion.  

Great works of art don't simply appear out of thin air or emerge brilliantly conceived from an uninspired mind.  The mind, the emotions and one's soul have to be prepared before a work is begun or an inspired life lived.  Comedy, poetry and music, using memory aids or mnemonic devices, raised the vibration or frequency of the mind, body and soul to the proper heights where inspiration resided.  It's interesting that today Arts and Sciences has become a tool for dehumanizing and degrading our existences.  Look at how language and grammar is mangled.  Much of popular hip hop music also uses many of the same mnemonic devices of rhyme, alliteration and punning as classical and ancient poetry but to the opposite vibrational effect of harmony and inspiration.  The effect of the images, themes and beat of popular music doesn't expand the effectiveness or efficiency of the corpus callosum which is responsible for the communication between the feminine and masculine hemispheres of the brain.  Todays entertainment is higher mindless, traps us in the left, linear masculine brain and lowers our emotional life to hypothalamic drives of drinking, eating, sex and aggression. 

Creativity is a very misunderstood word.  What we see around us today is not creativity but mostly people copying other people’s work and tweaking it slightly.  True creativity is the domain of the divine feminine as you need feminine energy and access to higher emotions to give birth to truly original works of art. By researching the art of the Renaissance or ancient Greece, one will learn that art wasn’t simply pretty pictures or flowery verses but had purpose and meaning which helped people to grow, evolve and understand their world on a deeper, more profound and scientific level.  Da Vinci as well as many of the other great artists of his era were scientists and philosophers not just painters and sculpters.  If one were to look up ancient Greek philosophers and prominent citizens one would see a very long list of recognizable luminaries such as Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Epicurus, Hippocrates and list stretches past the horizon.  Access to higher emotions and intellect stimulates the curious child and dedicated scientist in all of us and enables everyone, man and woman alike, to give birth to higher, truer and more beautiful explanations of our selves and our universe.  Unlike most modern art of dribbling and smearing, there is no doubt about the creative works of the Renaissance and Ancient Greece, as they will always be viewed as masterpieces no matter what the generation or age.  True art will resonate into eternity.  

How does the gay community fit into creativity and art?  Well, in my time it was the responsibility of the older generation of gay men to teach the younger one’s all areas of culture.  They were our Muses.  More than anything else what the gay community or gay people represented was a connection to a higher sensitivity of emotion from which art was generated.  We excelled in the arts and in creativity.  So what happened?  Well, I think that we became far too obsessed with the gym and looking good simply as an exercise in vanity and not as an extension of good health.  Also the community has expended oceans of energy fighting AIDS, chasing its tail in the political arena, being obsessed with youth and looking young, and transforming ourselves from the last vestiges of a creative, vibrant, unique culture to a boring, white picket fence, 2.4 kids and an SUV in the driveway household of average middle Americans.  What happens when our version of reality goes bust or belly up?  If we have completely severed our connection to the divine feminine and our higher emotions and intellect then we will have nothing to fall back on when creative solutions are most desperately needed.  

More Balinese Blossoms

Sights and Sounds

Balinese Blossoms

With all this discussion of serious health topics thought I would share some soothing pictures from Bali. It's amazing as you walk the streets, terraced rice paddies and jungle paths there are bursts of technicolor blossoms everywhere which I just had to stop and admire. I'm one of those people who can pause and watch a fuzzy caterpillar amble across a leaf for thirty minutes.

I also utilize flowers in my energy work by holding the blossoms in my hand or decorating the body with them. Whenever I use flowers I see lots of purple flashes throughout the light/energy body of the person I working on. Purple flashes are related to the crown chakra and usually indicate a higher vibrational change. Flowers are nutrition for the eyes, brain and energy/light body.

Access to our higher emotions is regulated by the limbic system. The limbic system is also know as the rhinencephalon or "nose brain." I've found that the scents of flowers especially roses and frangipani revitalize the higher emotion area of the brain through production of neurotransmitters. Yes, you can smell your way to a smarter more intuitive brain. Flowers are also excellent for reinvigorating the right/feminine hemisphere of the brain stimulating creativity and soothing the soul. Hope you enjoy the images, please feel free to use any you wish.

Sounds of Harmony

Sound is another easy tool we can use to help heal ourselves. As I was researching the article on "Mythology is Science" I read literature about Egyptian Cat Fertility Goddesses. I got to thinking about cats and discovered that their immune systems are pretty darn incredible. Cats are flexible, strong, agile, have incredible balance and possess a potent resiliency against disease and trauma. Cat's also have nine lives, at least in mythology and perhaps the cat's purr has something to do with their health. I speculate that purring induces an electromagnetic field around the cat's body stimulating growth and healing and probably activating a release of endorphins. Cat purring is measured at 150 Hz. which is what the electrical oscillation level of human DNA is. As I mix up my health regimen I listen to various house cats, cheetahs and leopards purring that I've downloaded off the internet. Not lions unless you plan to go into battle. I have no hard data as to how this works only my theorizing. Certainly couldn't hurt to try it out on a regular basis.

Free Willy: Introduction to free will, choice and knowledge

Every single day we make choices. Our choices are generally the result of information we encounter regarding a particular subject and how we feel or process that information. These choices can range from minor decisions such as where and when to eat lunch, or major decisions, such as whether or not to remortgage the house, get a divorce or cash in your 401K. Choices large or small are important because they involve the three aspects of our being which are intellect, emotion and will. True choice is also dependent upon the objective observation of the particular set of circumstances or situations we find ourselves immersed in. In reality though, our decisions tend to not be so thought out and balanced, but are the result of “programmed” emotions or feelings

By letting emotions rule our lives we become mechanical, predictable, reactive and easily manipulated. Robotic. These emotions or feelings that command us are part of a mind programming strategy directed at us from the time we first become aware of the world around us as children. All of our beliefs, ideologies and values are instilled within us by our parents initially and then later on by various social, governmental, corporate and religious institutions. Our parents in turn were also at the mercy of these very same social structures.

Specifically, by adopting any belief structure as our own we begin to identify with it. We become emotionally entangled and attached to it. Next, we, or at least our ego, will feel the need to defend a false personality identity from others who don’t believe our particular point of view or dogma. The problem is we’re no longer thinking, we’re just feeling and reacting. We’re not questioning the validity of the beliefs in the first place, and whether or not they really serve us or humanity, or actually are just put in place to vector us into an ego box. Now, layer ourselves over with multitudes of false personalities such as I’m a New Age, Wicca, BMW driving, vegetarian, libertarian, non-smoker etc. and we’re no longer thinking at all but simply acting out beliefs programmed into us by an elite group of individuals, corporations and advertising companies.

Adopting all of these various beliefs as we move through life is how we construct the ego or false personality. It is the ego, or new version of us, which has been formed by all these various small identities which we mistake for who we are. In the process of constructing the ego we lose our connection to free will, free will choices and creativity. We have subtly turned our decisions over to programmed group thinking, feeling and behaving. By saying we are this or that we are in essence defining ourselves by what we’re not. If I’m a Republican then I’m not a Democrat or if I’m a dog-lover then I’m not a cat-lover and so on. What we are doing is shutting out reality. We are not viewing reality as it is but how we want it to be. The implications of this behavior become enormous when we apply it to our to decision making. In every arena of our lives we become reactive because of our emotional attachment to ego formed identities.

One also can't help but notice the downward cultural direction our society is choosing. This dehumanizing culture we live in shrinks our ability to process higher emotions through our limbic system in our brains. Because of our cultural leanings we are being effectively reduced to operating emotionally and nearly solely from our hypothalamus. The hypothalamus is where our most basic of emotions originate and is responsible for such things as drive and desire for food, water, sex, aggression or fleeing from trouble. I theorize that the hypothalamus is where the ego or false personality has its headquarters. In my reading on the hypothalamus I understand that events which generate anger can have long lasting repercussions such as causing damage to the functioning of your higher emotional organs and creating toxic memories which are stored and consolidated into your reality via REM sleep and the hippocampus. In other words the ego takes over by consolidating its power via acquiring false personality identities which are far removed from higher emotional functioning.

THE NEW AGE OR IS IT THE OLD ONE REPACKAGED?

In any kind of healing or spiritual work self-observation is critical. We need to understand that just because we may have shunned traditional religions and embraced new age ones doesn’t mean that they are SUBSTANTIVELY different from our former beliefs and practices. They also are ego based. New age ideologies and gurus constantly promise much more than they deliver and are designed to get us all feeling good and embracing love, light, peace and meditation. I don't know how many drumming circles, guided meditations or crystal healings I've been to or witnessed, but I do know at the end of the day these rituals are designed to get you spiritually high and dissociated rather than consciously aware. Also, everyone who seems to be an expert in their New Age field somehow becomes one without studying several scientific disciplines. Now how is that? God save us from those who are well-intentioned but ill-informed. Isn't the road to hell paved with all those feel good intentions?

This feel good state which the New Age promises us we can acquire seems to require no work whatsoever beyond just affirming that it is so. This positive blissful existence gives one the illusion that they are working to change themselves and the world but an honest self-observation of one’s life and the state of the world should shatter that conclusion. The ego, however, steps in and tells us we are evolving and growing as human beings so we just end up discarding any information to the contrary. When we discard or ignore relevant information we are in a state of cognitive dissonance and in denial about the totality of our environment and reality.

Cognitive dissonance is an emotional reaction that occurs when we are reading books, newspapers or the internet, conversing with or listening to other people or watching television and something is said or done that doesn’t fit into our world view. We react with anger at what is being said or read which is the ego’s way of not allowing information in that may contradict what we currently believe. Most of us react in a cognitively dissonant manner as we move through our respective days. The trick is to know when we’re engaged in cognitive dissonance behavior and how to correct it.

Self observation and understanding is required to know when we’re experiencing cognitive dissonance. The presence of anger in regards to information is the best indicator of cognitive dissonance. Information shouldn’t carry such emotional weight but it does because the ego gives it emotional importance. Importance of the information we possess or the identities we embrace is, well, important. The ego or false personality has to be right and the things it says and does have to be right or the best way to be. All other egos are wrong, only our ego has the answers.

By asserting that we should consider as much information as possible I’m not saying believe it all. To the contrary, I’m saying overcoming cognitive dissonance with regard to new sources of information should lead to acquiring knowledge not lies and misinformation. Belief itself is not what’s important but learning discernment, how to scrutinize information and who’s disseminating it and how to acquire true knowledge is what’s necessary in regards to our emotional and mental health. The answers to all our questions become insignificant compared to the process of seeing the totality of reality, how it and we are being influenced and learning how to act and think in a critical manner.

United States of Candida: How Our Country is Candida to the Gay Community

After reading about the characteristics of Candida, my mind got to tossing around the idea that the manner in which Candida decomposes the body reflects the way society attacks the gay community. When I observe how culture reacts and has reacted in the past to gays, lesbian and transgenders I’m reminded of how a Candida bacteria mutates and keeps on attacking in order to kill the body and decompose it’s corpse. The most godawful, hateful, cruel and spiteful diatribes and invectives are hurled at gay people by millions upon million of zealots and bigots in this country. Why spit such venom if there was not a sadistic, twisted and malevolent thought and energy hiding behind those pious faces. Violence comes in many forms, yes there is physical violence, but there is also energetic and spiritual violence that is quite effective to the morphic energy body forming field of the gay community.

Let’s consider this idea of society as a Candida fungus aimed at killing or debilitating gays a bit further. Real Candida thrives on a diet of sugar, junk food and simple carbohydrates. If my concept is applicable, then our community needs to stop feeding society sugar. How do we stop the sugar rush? Well, my thought is that our political system is the Candida yeast. Most of us probably understand our nation’s politicians don’t truly represent their constituencies but rather pay tribute to significantly larger pockets. When, as a community, we go hat in hand, to beg for special handouts like equal rights, ability to get married, safety from hate crimes and to be able to adopt children, rights that other citizens automatically possess, we are feeding sugar to the yeast. The system is never going to recognize us as healthy because to it we are the disease.

Remember this quote from above, “Candida yeast is an extremely complex and difficult condition to overcome once it infiltrates the body. It is one of the most obstinate, clever and highly adaptive organisms you will ever encounter. It has the ability to mutate and develop stronger forms of itself.” Yes, we may get a bone or two thrown our way but the overall plan leaves no doubt as to our status. The debate swirling around gays constantly shifts from teaching in schools, to having and raising children, to AIDS is god’s retribution, to you can’t get married and on and on and on. Every single time there is an election gay rights issues take center stage because most candidates know they can’t do anything about the real issues that are bankrupting this country and taking away our freedoms, but they do still want to get reelected and keep their cushy jobs. Hate is effective.

Now, for the proliferation of antibiotics that also causes Candida overgrowth. In society, our antibiotics are our political, business, social, academic and religious leaders and yes the media. It is antibiotic authorities that are supposed to protect us from lies, corruption, graft and violence that would do the social or community body great damage. To the contrary, these antibiotics are constantly promising real change, better plans, new approaches, sounding just like a candida yeast would as it devours you, but not only does nothing change the situation degenerates. When is enough...enough?

I am definitely not saying to go ahead and fight fire with fire, then you become the Candida yeast yourself. That’s ridiculous. What’s really at stake is our physical, mental and spiritual well being and our cohesion as a community. There is a tremendous loss of energy, which pours out and is lost into a Candida system, when our community constantly runs around trying to put out political fires and keep up a good image that our leaders don't particularly appreciate anyway. I say stop it. We conserve our energy and define ourselves through true self-remembering. We decide what we are and what we stand for and what we believe in by knowing our own as well as society's programs of self destruction and imbalance. I for one am through acting like a child who’s desperate for his distant, neglectful parent’s affection. How about you?

Once again, we don’t fight fire with fire, fighting is reactionary. We act for our own destiny by acquiring and applying knowledge not acting against another. Reacting is mechanical and machine-like anyway, we are certainly more creative and affirming than that as a community. This proposal is my idea of how to pursue one’s own destiny of a healthy and balanced existence free of the lie of HIV/AIDS, and more aware of the subversive and destructive schemes of social and emotional programming via the media and other oppressive elements of society.

The concept of recycling is also doubly important for energy. We need to be more saavy about the emotional and spiritual energy we as a community generate. It's tremendous. Remember what I said in the beginning, creation happens from thought down. If we understand how to best utilize and recycle our energies then higher awareness and evolution are realistic and sustaining. In my own personal life, I have ceased pleading for approval from those who don’t and won’t ever approve of me which just makes solid energetic sense.

The reason I would write an article like this is because the health of the gay community does not simply rely on the medications or vitamins we take or even going to the gym but is connected to how we fit into society, how we interact with our families and what we absorb through media. Health is more than physical, it is energetic, emotional and thought oriented as well. I'm also grateful for the likes of the Larry Kramer's of this world and the drag queens, hustlers, transgenders and any others who were there at Stonewall as I can now live more openly due to their valiant efforts. My words certainly are not meant to invalidate the contributions of these brave souls but are written to get us to think realistically about our political system, our individual state's and our country's precarious financial status and how we are going to cope in a world which in a few short years or months may be unrecognizable.

A Little Reminder

Having just finished the post on Candida I want to remind all that this is a FIRST step in the right direction. I'm unbelievably grateful to Cynthia Perkins and her book on Candida without which I would still be under the grips of the modern medical establishment. But as my goal is to alleviate or heal all those who currently have an autoimmune disease, I will be posting many more suggestions on alternative health thinking and practices. If the reader returns to my first post they will notice several article titles which over time I will be completing. Because of the work of Cynthia Perkins though, I'm here today with a fairly clear mind, the motivation to continue onwards in life and the confidence that together we can figure out any challenge to our health and well being. Sincerely, Eleutherios

Hey There Little Boy, Want Some Candida!

As far as my own particular immune disease, I’ve been fortunate to have not experienced many of the worst manifestations of a dysfunctional immune system and I did respond well to medications with an immediate reduction of viral load and a phenomenal increase in T-cells. I have many friends and acquaintances though, who are suffering horribly and many others who have died. Nowadays, medications allow one to adequately “manage” but not cure the disease. However, powerful HIV medications produce equally powerful side effects. My medications resulted in hours of diarrhea to start my morning off, stabbing body aches and pains especially in the liver and gastrointestinal tract, mental and physical exhaustion and an overall loss of peace of mind and quality of life.

As someone who is attuned to the language of vibrations I know what food, water, vitamins and medications resonate as healthy and those which do not. Not that I always follow my intuition but at least it is there. If an item is particularly healthy I will see a bright purple flash next to it and if the item is toxic I will see a red dot flash next to it. I noted the vibrations and flashes of my medications and without doubt they always felt or vibrated as poisonous or toxic with red flashes next to them. In addition, my higher brain functions and clarity of shamanic functioning were hobbled by my medications. Always struck me as counterproductive how the medical establishment encourages saturating your body with toxins in order to be their definition of healthy. One would think that a more nutritional diet, increasing one's awareness and knowledge and practicing healthier lifestyle options would equate with health not the other way around. HIV medications are also phenomenally expensive and run upwards of twenty four to twenty five thousand dollars a year, so someone somewhere was and is making truckloads of cash off the untold suffering of millions. Kudos to you corporate behemoths.

I knew that pharmaceuticals were never going to be a cure and as I gained more knowledge I realized FOR ME that HIV medications weren’t a necessary or viable option. Should a cure mysteriously appear soon, I would be extremely hesitant about taking it as any study of what’s in vaccinations should be warning enough. Also, I know how medications vibrate and it is not a healthy vibration. If we as a community want the disease of HIV/AIDS to be healed then it’s going to take sincere work, revolutionary thinking and concerted action. As I've stated before, disease begins with thought and the thought of HIV/AIDS will not go away by taking a pill. Taking a pill will only serve to try and sweep the disease under the rug where it will most likely mutate and grow even more aggressive. We cannot ignore our behavior, our beliefs or those of society and think that this disease will ever magically vanish.

Returning to the physical symptoms of immune deficiency I found that in my body there was a proliferation of yeast and fungal infections from athlete’s foot to jock itch and facial reddening. Other friends developed severe cases of thrush. When I was researching these symptoms I came across information about Candida or Candiadis. As soon as I connected with the information about Candida my immune disease started to make a whole lot more sense. A strange coincidence to my researching Candida was I had recently returned from Bali, Indonesia and stayed in an out-of-the-way village I had never visited before. The name of the village was “Candi dasa.” If you take off the last “s” and “a” you get Candida.

Candi dasa, Bali is absolutely stunning with multitudes of multi-colored flowers, secret beaches and lofty mountain and volcanic vistas. Absolute paradise. I remember saying to myself, “if I died here I would be happy.” When I returned home and was studying causes for the symptoms of HIV/AIDS my awareness directed me right toward the information on Candida. I think because of my trip to Bali, a variation of the word Candida was lodged in my brain. Perhaps my trip to Candi dasa was a glaring warning sign that Candida was flourishing and blossoming into its own paradise within my body. Scary.

Candida albicans is a yeast or fungus that usually works symbiotically with other bacteria to protect the body from infection. I was reading from this website called Holistic Health Solutions and what this site stated was that, “Candida albicans serves to decompose the body after death.” Wow, that’s exactly what seemed to be happening with the body even taking on a “wasting” look while alive. HIV/AIDS has the body attack itself or destroy itself in what to me was identical to Candida albicans.

Just imagine a yeast who’s function is to decompose the body “after” death spinning out of control when one is still alive. Sounds like a cocktail for HIV/AIDS. Candida actually establishes itself in the intestinal tract and then using your gut as a base of operations spreads effortlessly throughout the body. Candida also has the ability to puncture the intestinal wall leaving microscopic holes where food particles and food allergens can poison and toxify the body. Candida can thrive anywhere in the body from lungs, to joints, to mucus membranes, to gall bladder and brain. Gee, that’s a pleasant thought.

Candida Albicans has a variety of nom de plumes such as thrush, athlete’s foot and vaginal yeast infection. Today, the way we approach our healthcare and nutrition becomes the perfect ally for Candida overgrowth. The rampant use of prescription antibiotics and addictive ingestion of sugars, simple carbohydrates and junk food is like manna from heaven to Candida. Antibiotics kill off all bacteria both bad and good so Candida literally has no competitors or other bacterial forces to counterbalance it. Also, our high sugar and low nutrient diets feed candida with the sustenance it needs to destroy our own bodies. Candida loves sugar, who doesn’t?

From the Holistic Health website it states, “Candida creates and releases over 70 different toxins like ethanol and acetaldehyde into your blood stream that not only cause a host of problems in the human body, but also weaken the immune system. Ethanol is an alcohol and acetaldehyde is related to formaldehyde. These toxins disrupt normal functioning of the bodies systems. It can also interfere and mimic estrogen, thyroxin and other hormones in the body thus creating hormonal imbalances and problems with the thyroid or other glands. These toxins can also overload the liver and impede normal liver functions.”

The website continues by stating, “Candida Albicans and its toxins can infiltrate and effect any organ or system in the body and can be responsible for a large variety of physical and mental health conditions that we see so commonly in people today. Most people are unaware that it may be the cause of their arthritis, headaches, migraines, anxiety, depression, aggression, mood swings, fatigue, sore throats, gas, bloating, persistent cough, irritable bowel syndrome, hyperactivity, memory problems, attention deficit, cold sores, eczema, hormonal fluctuations, menstrual difficulties, inability to lose weight, Crohns, Prostatitis Autism and much, much more.”

Other medications that can contribute to a Candida overgrowth are pharmaceuticals for birth control, antacids, ulcers, cortisone, steroids and heavy metals our body absorbs from the environment or the mercury in our tooth fillings. Also, flu vaccinations contain heavy metals. Maybe we can all see now that it doesn’t matter what “pills” one is taking those pills will only serve to disguise what’s really going on. Any “cure” for HIV/AIDS must contain an approach to balancing the Candida bacteria in our bodies.

I’m now going to switch to the symbolism of Candida. Candida flourishes in environments that are dark, warm and moist. Think about gay clubs, they are all dark, warm and moist environments. By entering into places that are dark, dank, warm and moist, WITHOUT AWARENESS, then one may very well be making a risky Candida choice by default. In order to fully protect ourselves, perhaps we should consider the symbolic ramifications of placing ourselves within a candida conducive energetic environment such as dark bars.

I’m also flabbergasted when I consider that the symbol of our “liberty” is a place called Stonewall. If any of you have ever been in Stonewall, it’s a bar and you know that it’s dark, dank and moist. We as the gay community should understand that the most significant symbol of our liberation should not be a dive bar. This may sound like a judgment but it’s not, it’s an observation about the impact of symbols on community consciousness. Hey, it’s not like I haven’t had my tusch in there drinking before. I have. I just think we need to have more respect for ourselves and a better understanding of the symbols we choose to organize ourselves around. Other cultures have monuments, museums or other respectable tributes why should we settle for less?

I’m going to quote two more paragraphs from the Holistic Health Website and also encourage you to do your own research on this disease. I believe the article on the website was written by Cynthia Perkins and she also has a book titled CANDIDA SECRETS, YOUR KEY TO SUCCESSFUL TREATMENTS:

“The overgrowth of Candida yeast is an extremely complex and difficult condition to overcome once it infiltrates the body. It is one of the most obstinate, clever and highly adaptive organisms you will ever encounter. It has the ability to mutate and develop stronger forms of itself.”

Your best course of action in eliminating yeast overgrowth involves learning about the Candida diet and following it as strictly as possible, eliminating sugar and refined carbohydrates from your diet, avoiding the use of antibiotics or other prescription drugs that may encourage yeast overgrowth and educating yourself as thoroughly as possible about every different aspect of this complicated syndrome.” At the very least, one should check into taking probiotics which are healthy bacteria for the digestive tract. I take a daily regimen of probiotics and a tablespoon of good quality apple cider vinegar every day which have done wonders for me. I’m still working on eliminating the potato chips and ho hos.